If this happens a third time, I'll know it’s a full fledged conspiracy. For the second day in a row I left my deliciously healthy lunch at home. Yes, twice.
It was the same lunch.
Carrots, purple (seedless) grapes, and a (the greatest sandwich in all the world) peanut butter and honey on whole wheat. Doesn’t that just scream, “Healthy food, right here, delicious and nutritious!”? Oh, but it does.
Too bad I left the same lunch on the same counter two days in a row. How the hell am I supposed to be eating healthy when my carefully and deliberately made lunch refuses to join me at noontime? Heck yes I’m ticked! I’m trying to get ready for swimsuit season, to run multiple 5ks, a 10k, a 10 miler, a half-marathon, and hopefully a marathon in October. I can’t do that when I don’t have a flippin’ lunch!
It’s definitely a conspiracy! How else would you explain the absence of my lunch? I believe it to be the scouting party for the FVBEPM (funded in part by the CACFACU National Alliance-Chickens against the Chick-Fil-A Cattle Union*) -Fruits and Veggies Board to Explore the Possibility of a Mutiny. When you forget your lunch too, you’ll understand exactly where I’m coming from. Sure you think, it’s only a small bag of carrots and a cupful of grapes, what’s the harm in them staying at home? Well my good people, you’re hearing it right now, these small uneaten doses of healthy nutritious goodness are operating on a small scale. Next it will be at potlucks, bbq’s, and holiday get-togethers. Then they’ll try to broaden their scope, refusing to be dished out at restaurants, encouraging the digestion of sweets, delicacies, and (gasp) “junk food.” (For the record I have nothing against junk food, but it took me 6 years to regain control over Grandma's Chocolate Chip Cookies, Sour Cream and Onion chips, and refrigerated cookie dough. I'm not about to lose this fight.)
Again, I’m getting a sense that you all are a bit incredulous. If we die because our arteries all clog up and kill us, you can all go down knowing I was right. What better way for veggies and fruits to survive if we are all gone!? Herbivores unite! Let us stock up on our ginko biloba, ginseng, and vitamins and remember our lunches!
On a more serious note though, while I won't say I have an eating problem (truly, I love, love, love, love, love food), for all of college I did struggle with my weight. Each time I groaned about the fit of pants or the number on the scale, my mom would urge me to, "Wait until you're out of college honey, it's just the stress." And she was right. My metabolism has levelled and I'm not packing on the pounds like before. However, I'm now an avid fan of running. As I've mentioned before, I'm definitely not athletically inclined (I do dabble a wee bit in casual flings with volleyball, softball, soccer, racquetball, and..um.. Frisbee), so now that I've really stepped up the pace (chuckle) with running, I'm super excited! I'm actually running. I can actually say that running 3 miles is an easy run! For once I have something to take pride in (plus I even give the appearance that I do for the most part) and when the nurse takes my heartbeat, I can respond to it's slow and steady thumpa-thump that, "Yeah, I run." AND NOW SOME BACKSTABBING VEGGIES ARE RUINING MY LIFE!
Over dramatic? Melodramatic? Bah. A little frustrated that I want to up the ante on my physical tone and endurance and stupid little murderous plants are foiling the product of my blood, sweat, and tears (oh yes, there has been blood and tears)? You'd better believe it.
Just for that I did remember my lunch today and I packed twice as many carrots and grapes as usual. Vengeance baby.
*Yes, I believe there is a direct correlation between the CACFACU and SNAFU/FUBAR)
No comments:
Post a Comment