So through the last week and a half, I've been making some fantastic progress regarding my ideas of marriage and children. It's been a quite enlightening, and quite frankly much needed, adventure through "The rapidly depleting misguided mindsets of one American lass."
For the past 5 years I have been against having children and getting married (although most definitely not in that order.) Who wants to get married and live with the same person for the rest of their life? Why not stay single and enjoy the independence of freedom? Freedom from battling it over who gets to go to whose family for whatever holiday. Freedom from having to worry about providing for someone else, freedom from having to be responsible to and for someone else, freedom from having someone else care about you, and freedom from waking up to the same person day in and day out. Regarding children: Freedom from changing diapers, freedom from feeding them, freedom from the screaming and yelling, freedom from the stress that comes with children, and most importantly, freedom from mini-vans!
Now as justifiable as those arguments are, they are not fair and they are completely heartless. Thanks to some good listeners and those whose mindsets are much more um...positive than mine, my heart has been changed and the vows I made regarding marriage and children are being broken and surrendered completely to my Lord. (I would give a longer explanation but too bad so sad, that part is much too tender and personal to share.) So in sum: No longer looking after self, but to what the Lord would place in my life and lead me to do. Absolutely delightful! I am so thankful to give up the idea that I am in charge of my heart and life goals.
And then I babysat a set of 2 year old twin girls and their 7 year old sister.
Oh, you didn't think that experience changed any of my newfound freedom, did you? It shall take a lot more than that for I to revert to my old mindsets. It did nothing to encourage me though, but nothing to deter me; just made me thankful that all things come with God's timing.
My story continues: I leave the house of horrors, I mean the sit, and continue on my merry way over to some friends' house to watch some Borat clips, make Christmas cards for children in hospitals, and recoup, I mean, enjoy the rest of my evening. Then after returning home I realize that my debit card is missing. O joy of joys. Not one to worry, I decide to wait until the morning to search for it. Then I get a call saying the family that I just sat for has found it. This means a return to Chaosville and at that point, I would have let them keep the card and waited the week until I could get a new one. Not a good idea because this means I am low on gas, sans cash, and sans means for getting cash. Stupid plastic bane of my life. However, I am not low enough on gas to miss out on a euchre/catch phrase game party. Besides, why worry about tonight when you can worry about it tomorrow? Of course that means that when one gets back to her apartment at 2 am, thoughts such as these invade her normally rational mind, "Hey, gas stations still take personal checks! Or I could give them my memorized card number (yes, I am that big of a dork and online customer)!"
At 10am the next morning, said rational falls flat. This means I do not get to go to church (my church) because gas stations neither take personal checks nor do they think one would seriously memorize their card number. And this means imminent return to that not so happy place. Did I mention my computer hates me? However, at the peak of my irritation, I realized that my attitude was not glorifying to the Lord whatsoever and I immediately repented for my not so nice thoughts. It is never a pleasant nor beneficial experience to have animosity in ones heart and it is not who I am, thank the Lord that I can choose to get out of my bad attitude. So after church with April, which was very poignant, I head on over and retrieve my card. It actually didn't go as bad as I had anticipated and in less than 35 seconds I was free for once and forever from that tribe of merciless cannibalistic headhunters. I mean loving and delightful children. And guess what was playing on the radio as I headed home? Christmas carols!! I love Christmas, I love this time of year, I love the camaraderie, the atmospheric change that comes with joyful times, and I love Christmas carols! So guess who belted out to "I saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus," and "Rocking around the Christmas Tree," the whole way home? That's right, yours truly. Good things come to those who delight themselves in the Lord. All you need is a change of heart. Then even the most loathsome of experiences becomes precious.
2 comments:
In my experience it seems to be very rare to encounter a woman who does not want to get married and have children. With men it seems to be the exact opposite - most seem not to ever want to marry or have kids.
I've felt that marriage was my calling for many many years now. I actually can't wait to live with the same person for the rest of my life.
I am glad to see that your complete opposition to marriage and children is gone. You never know - it just may be your calling. And remember, children are a blessing from the Lord.(Psalm 127:3-5)
James
If you have any more troubles babysitting, I suggest reading them a Bible story. How about one that involves children even? Hmm...let's see...ah! Yes, I know just the one:
"From there Elisha went up to Bethel. As he was walking along the road, some youths came out of the town and jeered at him. "Go on up, you baldhead!" they said. "Go on up, you baldhead!" He turned around, looked at them and called down a curse on them in the name of the LORD. Then two bears came out of the woods and mauled forty-two of the youths. And he went on to Mount Carmel and from there returned to Samaria."
Feel free to substitute any name the children may be calling you for "baldhead."
Post a Comment