Two Races.

Last night I wrote a post, published it, and then as soon as I woke up, took it down. I felt that although it was truly a good post, very honest, very genuine, it wasn't worthy of publishing. I desperately want to write a post. These last two weeks though, the time and energy have not been conducive whatsoever to writing anything. I have been mulling over an idea and I think I'm going to use it now, if anything it'll be a snack until something better comes along.

My Christian walk is like my running. Took awhile to get moving, but once I found the joy that comes with the running and the athletic fitness it brings with it, I wanted more. So I ran more. Like my Walk my faith was there (my ability to run) but I had never quite put it into action. Once I began Walking (running) I realized how important it is! Though there were times of great struggle and of pain and awakening and the ripping off of scabbed-over wounds, (burning lungs and running up hill) the cleansing of my heart and the dedication to He who created me overrode all the agony (similar to cleansing the body of toxins). I began to study so as to improve my walk (time), I committed myself to contributing to my Walk with devotions (committed time running), and I began to acquire essentials such as books by Lewis, Chambers, Eldredge, etc.(running shoes, shorts, tops). If I hurried and skipped over the essentials and tried to prove my faith too soon, (running too long too quickly and not stretching) I ended up battered and bruised a bit from reactions and situations I had not prepared for (stress fractures), having to go back and start over and this time, pay attention to the details of Christ's attitude and instruction.(returning to running after physical therapy). After it seemed I had plateaued in my faith and had no reason for exploring deeper into the Heart of God (running several 5Ks and doing fine) I would drop the ball in my Walk (quit running). Once however, I brought in structure to my life, be it via planner or what not; as soon as I re-introduced discipline (began going to the gym or outside), my Walk (running) would take off again!

If I lounged around the house, watched TV, or spent time on the Web, my walk (and running) suffered. So did the rest of my life. Friendships waned, going out and doing things slowed to a crawl, and sometimes depression would set in. The key is to keep moving. My parents taught me to never wallow in self-pity/ self-loathing but to just keep moving because I would eventually drag myself out of that slump. And they're right. Time after time, when I heeded their advice, I found myself ready to move on, ready to get Walking (running). Once you experience the change in your Christ-muscles (nice calves), you want more (toned thighs). It's hard sometimes to crack open that Bible or devotional (put on the shoes, get outside), but once you're in the middle of reading and praying, one realizes how imperative it is to continue the Race (running).

Some people would tell you to move along on a solid course. No depths or heights, just plug along running and walking without interruption and without change. I beg to differ. King David plunged to the depths and then soared to the heights. God loved his heart. If I stayed at a true horizontal walk, moving along in a tried and true pattern, where is the trust in Him? If my life were never to change, if I were to avoid all depths, I could not experience the heights. Just as if I always ran 2 miles, afraid that going 3 might kill me and 1 might not be enough. I'm neither challenging myself nor stretching the limits. I am lukewarm (hey, that sounds familiar!). My Walk may seem like a crawl or a sprint at times, but I prefer that to the tortoise. Slow and steady will finish the race, but the crawler/sprinter learns a lot more.